Gratitude is a big component of the law of attraction and of emotional alchemy, particularly for those who are looking to gain something material or tangible. However, gratitude is easier said than done.

I, like many other Americans, will be celebrating Thanksgiving tomorrow. It’s traditional to discuss or say what you’re thankful for. Most of us don’t tell the truth. We say what we’re thankful for, but not what we’re truly thankful for. We say that we’re thankful for family, friends, loved ones. But usually, we take these people for granted. We say we’re thankful for our homes, our jobs, our communities. But usually, we have significant problems with these things.

Phony Gratitude Does Nothing for Anyone.

Are you truly grateful for the things in your life? I can tell if someone is making it up when they talk about their gratitude. After all, I can sense what they actually feel. I know if someone is just saying the words. Usually, this comes up when someone wants to know why things like love or money aren’t flowing into their lives. One reason is because love and money aren’t flowing out. Things have to move from you in order to make room for more.

Another reason is because people aren’t ready to get the things they want because they don’t actually appreciate them.

You Can Always Find Something to Be Grateful For. Start small.

Do you want love, or do you just want to avoid loneliness? Do you want riches, or do you just want to stop being broke? Those are different things. Those who have a poverty mindset when it comes to love or money don’t appreciate it when they have it.

A person without money who gets money, but then laments having to spend it doesn’t appreciate it. So what if you have to pay bills? You pay bills because you have a roof over your head, heat, electricity, a cell phone, a credit card! So what if you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince? You have the opportunity to meet a lot of people and figure out who your soul mate might be!

I don’t think this is easy. I know that at my worst times, it was difficult to find ways to see myself as having a rich life. However, there is always something to celebrate if you’re alive. The key is to start small. Relationships, jobs, and careers are too complex. The scent of fir trees in winter, or plumeria in summer? Those are simple and free.

Don’t force it. Don’t do it for other people: Gratitude is not a weapon of psychological warfare.

Gratitude, like love, must com from the heart. Too many of us have had the unfortunate experience of being taught that gratitude is something that only comes through guilt. “You’re not grateful for all I do!” “How dare you want something different? You should be grateful for what you have!” How many of us have been admonished like this? How many of us have had the word “gratitude” used as a weapon to make us submit to someone else’s will? I have worked with so many adults who were guilted by abusive or manipulative parents or spouses who would do such a thing. Any deviation from what they wanted was considered ingratitude.

No one can be grateful for being forced, guilted, or manipulated into doing something against their will. In a down economy, we might be grateful to simple have a job. This doesn’t mean that we have to give up on our dreams. You may be grateful to have a roof over your head. That doesn’t mean you should give up on your dreams to travel the world. Be honest with yourself, and you can find what makes you truly grateful.

Gratitude looks forward to the future.

This is the most important thing, and one thing that guilt-trippers forget. Gratitude takes the past into account, but it looks forward to the future. For example, I am grateful for all my wife’s support over the years. I couldn’t be a professional psychic without her. Moreover, I’m grateful for the possibility that she will be with me in the future, at my side when we grow old (I mean, older). Likewise, I’m grateful for all my clients, and I look forward to working with them again — as well as new ones — in the future.

What are you grateful for? What do you look forward to doing or having?